Stoner Flick Countdown! I had to do a dozen, because a dozen sounds nice and I got tired of thinking so you get whatcha got. Hope you all enjoy it! So here we go....

12. Knocked Up. An earthquake hits, what do you save: your pregnant girlfriend or your glass bong? GLASS BONG! If your girl falls that bitch isn't going to bust into a million pieces!!!

11. Reefer Madness. Completely ridiculous. Unintentionally hilarious.

10. Blow. "I crossed an imaginary line with a bunch of plants."
"The line you crossed was real and the plants you brought with you were illegal."
Okay, so it's mostly about cocaine but George and Tuna started out as the Ganja Kings of Manhattan Beach.

9. Our Idiot Brother. He sells weed. To a cop. In uniform on the job.

8. Dazed and Confused. Got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did....

7. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Spicoli is the typical high school stoner. Except cooler because dude ordered a pizza during class.

6. Harold and Kumar. Best Day Ever checklist?
A. Buy weed
B. Smoke weed
C. Find FOOD!!!!!

5. Pineapple Express. The top five picks are simply great, great films. On weed. James Franco is the sexiest, dirtiest pot dealer ever to have lived.
"It's like killing a unicorn.....with like, a bomb."

4. Friday. "I know you don't smoke weed; I know this, but I'm gonna get you high today. Cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do!"

3. Half Baked. I have seen this movie a thousands times, no lie. And I will watch it a thousand more.
"When life gets hard I pick up that card with a smiley face, call him over to my place."

2. Up In Smoke. Is where my money goes. In my lungs and sometimes up my nose. When troubled times begin to bother me, I take a toke and all of my cares, go up in smoke. <3

I. Fucking. Love. This. MOVIE!!!! Everything about it is awesome and I laughed my ass off start-to-finish. This movie totally made state cops the coolest motherfuckers I never wanna meet. Starting right meow.

There it is! What would you put on that list? TELL ME! I may have forgotten a good one. Actually, I know I have!


     Every day for the last week I have seen on my Facebook where someone has posted their opinion about fast-food workers and whether or not they should receive a salary increase to that of $15 an hour. I worked in fast-foodish places nearly my entire adult life. My first job was at a local Chuck E. Cheese when I was 16 in Paducah, Ky. I think minimum wage at that time was somewhere around $4.75 an hour, however I'm not totally sure of that number. I was a waitress, a cashier, a birthday party hostess/coordinator and yes, I had to dress up as that fucking mouse. That bastard, asshole-fuck mouse. I got my ass kicked almost every time I put that thing on. I am currently 34 and stand at a staggering four feet, ten AND A HALF inches. So some of the kids that were running around in there being complete assholes were as tall as me or taller. And they were brutal. I was kicked, smacked, spit on and pushed all the time. I hated that damn costume. I would stare at faces when I was wearing it and remember who the worst ones were and then I would, well.........we'll not visit that right now. And I did it all for under five bucks an hour. I should've made hundreds. Fuck you, Chuck E. , Billy Bob was always better! SHOWBIZ RULES!
    After three years of that fun I worked at a Dairy Queen. Once again, the pay was terribly low, minimum wage being the only wage I ever received. The job was easy enough: flip burgers, add cheese, slap on a bun and give it to some of the rudest people I've ever encountered. When you work jobs like this there are always going to be those kind of people who come in and treat you like the piece of shit you are being paid like. People who will scream at you for adding one too many or one too few pickles. People who will flip the absolute fuck out because you forgot to put that fucking "q" on top of their ice cream cone they paid a whopping 99 cents for. People who literally have their noses up in the air, looking down on you. And the whole time you'll be praying for a rain storm so those snotty motherfuckers will drown.
    I've worked in a grocery store, a nursing home and a gas station. All low paying jobs and dealing with the general public. I have been cursed out. I have been degraded and I have cried, yes cried, at some of the vile things that have been said to me. Now do I think fast-food workers deserve $15 an hour?  FUCK NO. Not one fucking tiny bit of me thinks so. Why? Let me tell you the jobs that make less than that that are indeed much much harder and deserving of such an increase for the duties they perform:

    -CNA's wipe asses, touch other people's shit, lift patients in and out of wheelchairs and beds, deal with patients that are mentally disturbed and sometimes violent, get attached to some even though you know they are leaving this Earth soon and make around and less than $10 an hour. Really?
    -Paramedics will literally save your life while you scream, cuss and kick at them and make the same.
    -Child Care Providers take care of your bratty, spoiled, crying, pooping, puking babies for minimum wage. Kids that are totally defiant and yelled at when at home are sometimes treated better by these people. I have seen some real assholes in a daycare/school and these people that are working in there are, zen as fuck and like, "Everything's cool, I see you're a little upset and sad, let's have a snack and talk about your feelings sweetheart".Never would I ever.......accept this fucking job. Ever.
    -Farm laborers who spend long days lifting bales of hay, taking care of livestock and using machinery that can and often does lead to work-related injuries and death.

    That's just a small taste of what sort of workers that are currently receiving minimum wage and absolutely should not be! Flip those fucking burgers you lazy bitch and suck it up, buttercup! The day you are surrounded by human feces is the day you can complain about Jimmy Jack Joe calling you a dumb bitch. Really!


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    I am a thirty-something mother of two. I spend my days cooking, reading, stalking, bitching and now blogging!