It’s weird how something isn’t anything until it happens to a celebrity. Merica! Getting a blow job at work from some young, dumb bitch? Never happens. Overdose on heroin? Only in white trash-ville. Bipolar? Not really real, just get happy and stay happy! These are things we keep quiet, never telling anyone because we think or know that we’ll be shunned in the community, categorized with people we feel are completely different from us, never knowing how alike so many of us truly are. The death of comedian Robin Williams has shoved depression in to the forefront and has shown us that even the seemingly happiest of people are capable of hiding a sadness so deep that the first time we hear of the struggle is through their death by their own hand. Why did he do it? No one but him will ever know, and dead people don’t talk.

          Depression has been a part of my life nearly all of my life. I was depressed before I even knew what depressed was. My first experience at school wasn’t a good one and wouldn’t improve for many years. The only friends I had didn’t go to school with me so I spent a lot of time alone, just watching everyone. A dear friend passed when I was in the sixth grade and that was the moment I had to leave that school. I saw no one but me mourning his death and I did nothing to defend him because I was afraid of being the center-of-attention and being mocked for it. I transferred schools that year. Whether it was the guilt from allowing people to make fun of him (and one of those who did so is in fact a school teacher now *shudder*) or the anger I felt at them for being so insensitive I’m not sure. But that was it. I left and never once regretted it.

          My mother was depressed around the same time, hospitalized and yet still I never told a soul. I suffered with the confusion and worry alone, not wanting the attention which I was sure would be negative and also not wanting to be a problem. I won’t go in to many details on here but it was partially due to the death of her best friend. My mother received help yet to this day still struggles. I’m not sure anyone can ever be completely cured of it. I’m also not sure we don’t all suffer from it. I think everyone is depressed but some of us just stay that way.

          I feel very strongly about suicide. I don’t like it, I think it’s a disgusting word. I hate it. It permanently guarantees that no solution to a problem will ever occur. It takes away someone who should by all means still be here. This doesn’t mean I hate those that have taken their own lives it simply means I hate that it is even an option. I feel like it’s in our daily vocabulary so much that kids today it just don’t get how serious and as devastating it is. That suicide is not the beginning of your story, but a tragic end. When you hear that word you shouldn’t think rock star, movie star, etc. You should think sadness, desperation and loneliness. Because that is what suicide is. It is not a claim to fame, not your legacy. Your life shouldn’t be about how you died, it should be about how you LIVED.

          Recently someone very dear and near to me has struggled. This person is capable of doing quite possibly anything they want to. That’s how I know they won’t suffer long. They’ll figure this out, get on the right meds and they’ll be better for it. Sometimes you have to get that reality check. Sometimes you need that bump in the road to know there might be more. A crash course in Where The Fuck That Come From? Have any of you ever suffered with depression? Remember, you can post anonymously. Kind of like Topix, but I’ll delete that shit if I don’t like it.    :)

        Adrian Peterson has been in the news quite a bit the last few weeks. I personally never knew who he was, what sport he played, what team he played for or anything about him at all whatsoever until he was accused of child abuse. Since then his name is a top search for Yahoo, Google and Wikipedia. He allegedly beat his four year old with a switch leaving welts on his legs, of which photos of that beating appeared on and other websites. Do I think he went a little too far? Absolutely. Do I think parents today should spank their kids? ABSOLUTELY!

          I feel like Adrian Peterson is truly sorry for his behavior. I think this is something that he and his wife should be dealing with privately. This is not a public matter. Any of you out there with children, can you honestly say you’ve never punished your child a little too harshly? Never screamed a little too loud or maybe hit a little too hard? Thought about things that you knew would hurt and decided to say them anyway? None of us are perfect. All of us have done things we have later regretted, thought things we never imagined would cross our minds, all in the heat of the moment and when chaos was surrounding us and we felt like we had truly lost control of the very people we had created. Parenting can be a real bitch.

          Most of our parents used spanking as punishment. Whether it was with their hand, a switch picked from a tree, or (my Mom’s favorite) a fly swatter, all of us were hit. Most of us behaved better because of it. I have seen some bad-ass kids get some Act Right and start acting right.

          I use to babysit my niece a few years ago. She would get very mad and walk calmly over to my wall, look right at me and bang the shit out of it with her head. A few times she came close to knocking herself out. So I decided to start spanking her. It was just a quick swat, over her diaper, followed by a stern No! and that was it. Eventually she figured it out: Every time she hit her head her ass hurt. It worked. She stopped hitting her head and I stopped having to spank her. What’s your opinion on spanking? If you despise spanking, what sort of punishment works best for you?



    August 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014


    I am a thirty-something mother of two. I spend my days cooking, reading, stalking, bitching and now blogging!